张慈女士与女儿大米在越南沙巴寻根之旅
2025年9月21日，海外文轩作家团从河口赴沙巴。此日，巧逢美国华人作家张慈父亲忌日。张父生于沙巴农村，少年时赴云南文山求学并于哀牢山区医院工作。后随女儿定居美国，2024年仙逝，长眠于硅谷-奥特·梅莎公墓，与乔布斯同陵。
张慈女士父亲与女儿大米在美国
红河缓缓流过国境线
雨丝缝补着时间的断点
桥那头是爷爷奶奶家的地摊
桥这头是父亲日思夜梦的云南
我披着的不是雨衣是经幡
垂落的每滴雨都是我的泪水泪水流淌在我的脸面
我踏着沙巴街道的每一块石阶
像他当年越过的万重山
含龙山垂下青灰色的披肩
龙湖淌着不尽的怀念
教堂在祈愿中诵念安魂篇
将未说出口的心思捻成线
我数着雨滴计算乡愁的汇率
我用乡愁连着红河
连着沙巴的每一天
父亲在邮票大的照片里永远年轻
而我早已走进了他的心田
沙巴的泥土埋着我的根系
红河的云朵连着沙巴的雨线
所有的离别都是迟到的挥手
叶落时大地才读懂漂零的酸甜
雨停时彩虹跨过两国土地
像父亲横亘一生的足迹点点
墓碑在异国面朝东方
而沙巴的雨
继续写着故乡的思念
2025.9.21.于沙巴星巴克咖啡厅
The Rain in Sapa
—Reflections on Chinese-American Writer Zhang Ci’s Journey with Her Daughter Da Mi to Trace Their Roots in Sapa
By Yan Chunfang
On September 21, 2025, the Overseas Chinese Writers’ Group journeyed from He kou to Sabah. That day coincided with the anniversary of the passing of Zhang Ci’s father. Born in Sabah, he left for China in his youth to study and work, later settling in the United States with his daughter. He passed away last year.
The Red River flows gently along the border,
Raindrops stitch together fragments of time.
Beyond the bridge lies his father’s stall,
On this side, the Yunnan sky he never fully traversed.
What I wear is not a raincoat but a prayer flag,
Each falling raindrop is a tear tracing my face.
I tread upon every stone step of Sabah’s streets,
Like the countless mountains he crossed in his day.
Hanlong Mountain drapes in ash-grey shawls,
Long Lake flows with endless longing.
The church recites requiems in prayer,
Spinning unspoken thoughts into threads.
I count raindrops, calculating the exchange rate of nostalgia,
Linking the Red River with my yearning,
Connecting to each day in Sabah.
Father remains forever young in a stamp-sized photo,
While I have long stepped into the fields of his heart.
The soil of Sabah buries my roots,
The clouds above the Red River merge with Sabah’s rain.
All farewells are belated waves,
Only when leaves fall does the earth understand the bittersweetness of drifting.
When the rain ceases, a rainbow arches over two lands,
Like the footprints my father left across a lifetime.
His tombstone faces east in a foreign country,
And the rain in Sabah
Continues to write of hometown longing.
September 21, 2025
Starbucks Coffee, Sabah
